There Will Be Bloodening: Vampire Weekend announce new album

Pop band Vampire Weekend have announced that their new album ‘Vampire Weekend II: The Bloodening’ will consist of the same recordings of the same songs released on their first album ‘Vampire Weekend’ in a slightly different order.

“We know that people liked the first album” said singer Ezra Pound “So this seemed like the right choice”.

In attempt to make the new/old album more ‘digestible to content users’ the band have moved ‘Oxford Comma’ from track 2 to track 1 removing the need to first listen to less popular former album opener ‘Mansard Roof’ which is now track 4. ‘Oxford Comma’ is also repeated at the end of the album.

Some of the songs on the album have been renamed, ‘M79’ is now entitled ‘Susan Boyle’ after the homely but popular reality TV singer, whilst ‘Bryn’ has been renamed ‘Oxford Comma (part two)’.

A lucrative sponsorship deal has resulted in single ‘Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa’ being renamed ‘Bird’s Eye presents: Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa’ and the song now features an introductory voiceover pieced together from fragments of dialogue by the late John Hewer – the actor who played the popular eponymous Captain in a series of much loved fish finger adverts throughout the 80s and 90s.

Multi-instrumentalist Rostam Jetsam defended the decision to not write or record any new material for the new album as an artistic one. “This isn’t just a ‘reissue'” he explained, “Some people have said this is a purely commercial decision, that we’re ripping off our content users. But ‘Vampire Weekend II’ feels like the natural culmination of everything we’ve been doing over the last two years – i.e. playing these songs to people and receiving a positive response”.

He went on “I think people will be surprised by how fresh it sounds hearing the same material in a slightly different order, whilst being pleased that we’re still the band they love and have already paid to listen to”.

Some fans have angered the band by merely re-labelling and reordering their copy of ‘Vampire Weekend’ using iTunes, or burning a CD based on the new running order, which leaked in full months ago.

“I think it’s a shame they’ve done that” said singer Walter Konig “We had a real vision that this album would work as a cohesive whole, this isn’t just about reordering the tracks – it’s about re-evaluating what the whole idea of an ‘album’ as an artistic medium can mean in this post-2.0 consumer landscape. I mean, sure you can just re-order the tracks yourself, but that’s not the same as us doing it for you. Plus you don’t get the artwork…”.

The new album will be released on 11th January 2010 on standard CD and quadruple vinyl, which includes a bonus disc with ‘Oxford Comma’ repeated four times on each side, and a coupon to download the album as mp3s. There will also be a ‘super deluxe’ boxed set edition which features the album on CD twice, vinyl twice, cassette three times, minidisc once, DVD once, and a free copy of the first album.

The boxed set is priced at £500 and features an individually hand painted cover by Jake & Dinos Chapman, a lock of each of the band members’ hair, photographs of them on the toilet, and an interminably fawning essay by someone from Rolling Stone who last attended a gig by an unsigned band in the 1980’s, featuring the phrase ‘well rounded set of songs’, and printed on fucking goat skin vellum or something.

The first single from the album will be ‘Oxford Comma’ which will be released on 7″ vinyl on 4th January, backed with ‘Oxford Comma’.



2 Responses to “There Will Be Bloodening: Vampire Weekend announce new album”

  1. What are you listening to? - Page 149 - London Fixed-gear and Single-speed Says:

    […] Not that I'm listening to them, but I am enjoying reading this:…nce-new-album/ […]

  2. PermanentPlasticHelmet Says:

    Just brilliant. Still makes me laugh


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