Haircuts

What is a man who doesn’t like football supposed to talk about when he gets his hair cut? I don’t hate football – despite what disgruntled listeners of ‘The Gentlemen’s Game’ may believe (nor am I a huge racist as someone on last.fm thought) – I just don’t care. I don’t know who Kaka is, I just know that’s what french kids call poo.

So this time I tried a different tack:

Barber: Do you follow sport at all?

PWL: No, I’m more into my music and stuff.

[See I’ve been told it’s okay for a bloke to not like sport as long as he likes music. I don’t want to feel emasculated by a man waving scissors round my head.]

Barber: Oh right, so what music do you like then?

[damn, the fatal question – what do I say? ‘Well recently I’ve been really inspired by the guitar/noise experiments of Christian Fennesz. How about you?’]

PWL: Well, I’m into electro and stuff.

Barber: What? Not like the Eighties!

PWL: No, no… [uh oh, massive misstep] I’m into like… Aphex Twin? [play it safe, mention the most high profile artist you can who’s still relevant]

Barber: Yeah, I’ve heard of them (sic).

Phew, safe.

For what it’s worth I’m not ashamed of the Eighties. They weren’t the worst decade for music. The worst decade for music was the 70s. Which gave birth to Classic Rock and Punk. The two most conservative genres in music. Punk as a movement was exciting and spectacular, but the story’s miles better than most of the music. Except the Clash obviously, who were amazing.

Here’s my official ‘Best Decades’ chart, which is factually correct and with which no man can argue.

1. the 60s
2. the 00s
3. the 80s
4. the 50s
5. the 40s
6. the 90s
7. the 70s

For a sneak preview of my new haircut pick up a copy of next week’s Hello magazine.